What a sad state of affairs for our country! Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church, decided to not have his presidential Q & A this year like in 2008 because the tone and civility is so bad between the two parties and the pundits. I have to say, I have not seen anything so ugly as this election. I have seen a Paul Ryan look-a-like shove an elderly woman over a cliff to describe his views on Medicare. I watched a conservative commentator shout over every statement her liberal counterpart tried to make in what was supposed to be a dialogue. Words and phrases like “felon”, “war on woman”, “racist” and “animal abuser” have been slung around like…well, mud. One ad portrayed Mitt Romney as complicit in someone’s death. Others have continued to badger Barack Obama about the legitimacy of his U.S. citizenship.
So how do Christians respond? How do we enter the public arena of ideas without descending into this breakdown in communication? I don’t know. How do you have an honest conversation when one side is throwing out talking points and all you can do is defend and counter? Or should you? Perhaps a starting point for the people of God is to go to school on the pundits and politicians. Perhaps we start with what NOT to do when engaging in a dialogue of ideas as we watch them demonstrate the demonic art of demagoguery. Here are seven that I have gleaned from the mudslinging that seem so basic and yet, have slipped away from the collective mind so easily.
1. Take turns and listen. Not only do we have to stop trying to shove our comments in at every possible crease in the conversation, but listening also means not reloading your next round of arguments while the other person talks. After all, you would wish for your points to heard and pondered before a rebuttal, wouldn’t you?
2. Don’t assume the worst. Your counter-part is not bad because he or she disagrees with you. They may be wrong and yes, they may even be bad, but don’t assume they’re bad because their opinion is different than yours. When you assume the worst about someone, it leaves little reason to listen to them, much less share with them.
3. If you know it’s your opinion, don’t pretend it is fact! This is simply cheating in an argument. I have both seen, and committed, this foul in debates with people (even my wife) about issues well beyond politics or ethics. If you are cheating, you cannot be trusted to have a fair dialogue because you are only in the argument to win it, by fair means or foul. So why talk?
4. Strive for clarity, not necessarily agreement. No one said that we all have to agree. Everyone CAN’T be right. Some opinions are demonstrably wrong, but how can you honestly come to any conclusions if no one is listening and understanding?! Who wants to talk to someone who will assume what you really mean is X when you are clearly explaining that you mean Y? Who wants to talk to a person who is intentionally going to distort your position because they don’t want to know what your position really is? If you are going to disagree, at least know what you disagree on.
5. Treat people with respect because all humans are image-bearers, even the worst of us! This is a uniquely Judeo-Christian truth. When you shout down other people and their views, you are inherently seeing them as without worth and thus they have nothing to say. But we are all image-bearers. We all carrying the stamp of God’s handiwork and thus deserve respect even in a heated dispute.
6. Treat people as you wish to be treated in terms of dialogue! The Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12; Luke 6:31) applies to the way we talk to each other. Our politicians, by and large, don’t get this one. Politicians apparently sees conversations as opportunities to advance an agenda and make someone else look bad by slipping in the zinger. But a Christian conversation starts with this principle. How would you wish to be treated in a dialogue?
7. If you are wrong, admit it. If someone else is wrong, don’t batter them over the head with it. If people see that you can admit the weakness of your argument or position, if they know you won’t use their weaknesses to bludgeon them with it, there is a greater likelihood that you can have an honest conversation. It is safe to be wrong in this environment. It is safe to point out weaknesses because weaknesses are not an opportunity to create a weapon. And there is an opportunity to come to a better understanding, if not even a resolution of sorts.
I have had to learn these lessons the hard way, but I cannot think of a time more apropos to deal with how to fight fair, how to dialogue and how to be civil. Thanks, Rick Warren, for bringing this issue to a head!
Well said, Dave!
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