Slow To Speak

One of the lessons I am learning is to be slower to open my mouth. Proverbs 13:3 cautions us to control our tongue for a longer life and James 1:19 urges us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. We are told that even fools can look wise by simply not talking (Proverbs 17:28).

So, I am trying to be less foolish than I already am by being slower to speak. But, as I thought about the wisdom of silence, I was drawn to the ultimate example - Jesus. When you read Isaiah 53:7 where this “Suffering Servant” refused to open his mouth or Matthew 27:13-14 where Jesus left Pilate completely perplexed by not answering a single charge, you cannot help but see Wisdom in all of its embodiment.

The next time you feel like you just HAVE to get in your two cents, you feel the urge to speak over somebody else, or you need to find someone with whom to air your grievances, consider wisdom in the flesh: Jesus, the Silent One, who accomplished more by not talking than the entire history of humanity’s clamoring.

A Friend Who Sticks Closer Than A Brother

I hope all of you have someone you can call a true friend…a friend with a mature Christian walk.

Solomon, the second wisest man to walk the planet, wrote: “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”. I have lots of friends in the sense of people with whom I hang out or with whom I am on friendly terms. But, I can honestly count my true friends - the people who are allowed into the inner-regions of my soul - on one hand (besides my wife, who comes first). And through life’s journey, I have realized how absolutely critical it is to be choosy - to have a close bond with people who will always have your back, but will always speak the truth to you; who will encourage virtues like grace, courage, integrity and yet someone you can be yourself around, even if it is not the “yourself” you would present to just anybody.

Being “rooted in community” is not simply a by-line in our philosophy of ministry. It is wisdom endorsed by God’s Word that takes place at the most rudimentary level of true friendship. It is a channel of life and strength!

Engaging Your Family With God's Word

I decided to reassert myself in terms of helping my kids engage with God’s Word.  Sad to say, I have gotten a little lazy.  Oh, we read the Bible at night as I tuck them in, but I wanted to give them a little more guidance. 

So, last week our family began to read through the psalms together. It was tough getting Micah to stop getting into the snacks, trying to keep the puppies from distracting Jordan and Josiah, and settling everybody down...made me almost chew my own foot off!  But, we finally did get settled.  We looked at Psalm 1 (a nice way to begin because it is only six verses long), and actually had a wonderful conversation about which voices we listen to—do we listen to God’s instructions or to the influence of our friends? It was a reminder to me not to get discouraged about good habits, even if the first couple of tries don’t work out right.

I encourage you to continue engaging your family with God’s Word. Don’t let past attempts that failed discourage you!

The Family and The Church

One of my favorite pastors to read is Richard Baxter.  Baxter was a very practical teacher and a Puritan pastor who lived from 1615-1691.  Anyone whose books are still in circulation after 350 years must have had some good things to say! 

I found myself reading some chapters out of The Godly Home after a very honest conversation with one of my kids in which I was face-to-face with some significant faults as a parent.  Baxter wrote that for parents (the “governors” of the family), “…these three things are of greatest necessity: authority, skill, and holiness and readiness of will”.  It was a pointed moment of clarity in which I realized that I am in need of the skills, in particular, since this was the area that I had handled a situation so clumsily. 

That is one of the areas in which the church can come alongside the family as a help, for “skill” from a biblical definition is really the meaning of “wisdom”.  That is my prayer for our church: that we can be a place to gain and share skills for living out the Christian life, especially as it pertains to all the facets of the family.

Family Portrait

Some years back, Desiree and I were able to contribute to the spiritual well-being of a friend named Mindy.  It’s not what you might think.  All we actually did was get a picture for the church directory back in Springfield.  But, the photographers were way behind and as we sat for the next 45 minutes, Josiah (then 4 years old) decided to strip off his clothes and take off down the church hallway.  When we took our eye off of Micah (then 2 years old), he began to head in another direction.  By the time we got in to take our picture, Josiah was crying and a steady stream was pouring out of his nose. He shoved his hand into his mouth in defiance of the photographer.  Micah was smiling, but had reached behind Desiree, grabbing a hand full of hair and pulling back.  I was more grimacing than smiling as I tried to hold Josiah still.  And every time our friend Mindy is feeling a little down, she reaches for that directory and looks up our family picture for a good chuckle.

Family photos are what we want people to see, not necessarily how things are.  One of the important aspects of the gospel is to change us from the inside out, not to create the perfect family photo, but to actually cultivate honest, healthy relationships in the family that will serve as anchors for all involved.  It is when our family, flawed as it is, works off of the principles that God lays out for the family that we will see a beautiful picture of what God intends for community and for His church.

Jesus, The Pattern Breaker

Brokenness is our lot in life, especially in the family.

I know this first-hand, having watched my parents divorce when I was 11. The startling thing has been the recent revelation that this brokenness was passed down to me. I have a good marriage to a wonderful wife, though we, like everyone, have our struggles. But, I have caught myself following some of the patterns that I thought I would never repeat. My dad disengaged prior to the divorce, and it was only accentuated afterwards. It has been a source of pain in my past.

So it was surprising to me that one day, I felt God confronting my own pattern of disengaging with my kids who wanted me to engage with them. It was a reminder of what we see happening in Genesis 4. Adam’s and Eve’s sin passed along a pattern of brokenness that expanded and worsened to their kids and the kids after them.

Thankfully, we also have a pattern-breaker in Jesus, whom we get a glimpse of in the birth of Seth (Genesis 4:25-26) and in the birth of a second “Lamech” in Genesis 5:28-29 (a good “Lamech” to replace the bad one in Genesis 4:19-24.) The life of Christ in overcoming brokenness in our families is one of both recognition of what we are negatively affected by, but also what has the potential to change and transform us into new people!!

The Family

As we begin this new series on the family and how God, Family and Church combine to create a powerful new remedy to what is ailing the modern home, we know how crucial this topic is!

Our culture has been busy presenting all kinds of traditional family alternatives. Our politicians want to re-define marriage and our TV shows want to present new models that make a traditional family look antiquated, irrelevant and often times, the poorest of the options presented. But, the family—as God designed it—is still one of the most powerful forces on earth.

I can tell you that if it had not been for families that came alongside me as a kid, I would be so lost in the cacophony of ideas, I would not know where to even begin when it comes to marriage, parenting, etc….

I am praying and hoping that God gives us all a clear picture of the way forward and I invite you to be part of the Sunday services, and also to connect with some of the additional helps, like InGauge on September 22! And keep your eye out for someone in your circle of influence who might be helped with the concentration on the family!!